The Rewilders meet separately with Alicia and Mateo for follow up sessions after they've returned home from the intensive. At first, things sound resoundingly positive on both ends. Mateo has found massive success getting through to his team at work by incorporating what he learned about state of mind and presence. And Alicia is successful with not being reactive especially before holding important conversations with Mateo.
One might assume Mateo has been benefitting from Alicia's calmer state at home, but he reveals to Angus that in actuality he's experiencing fairly severe and chronic anxiety, especially at home. He may appear "cool as a cucumber on the outside" but he's "hotter than a tamale on the inside." This has major implications for their relationship.
Angus shares one of his sure-fire barometers for his own level of anxiety; the degree to which he can handle Rohini's finger chewing (in other words, Rohini's anxiety). In the past, Angus wasn't able to bear Rohini's anxiety at all because he couldn't bear his own. But since taking his thinking less seriously and cultivating more presence in their relationship, he's typically able to handle Rohini's finger-chewing quite well, except for the times he isn't, which he now knows to be a reflection of his own state of mind rather than something lacking in Rohini.
This episode explores:
- Our innate resilience when in touch with our true nature
- New, experiential reference points created during intensives
- The power of being genuinely present with another human being
- The impact of anxiety on relationships
Show Notes
Befuddlement: Angus's perplexed feeling wondering how to ask people to stay tuned.
A turn-up, not turnip: A surprise
Projection 101: The first course on the act of projecting / the cause of Angus's judgment of Rohini's finger-chewing
Listen to this space: Another way of saying, tune in next week for Episode 14, when more on Alicia and Mateo's relationship developments will be revealed.
Podcast Music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 13 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.
Feedback
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Listener shout out of the week!
Thanks for letting us know, Nikkie! We're thrilled to hear that listening to Rewilding Love has contributed positively to your relationship. That is our #1 goal!
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OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST
Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.
Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experienceand The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross onFacebook, Twitter, andInstagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.