When the mind is quiet, it is much easier to notice negative thinking when it arises. This does not require thought management or self-management. With a quiet mind, the noticing of the negative thoughts becomes obvious. They are more easily seen for what they are, as the esteemed psychologist George Pransky would say, "Bullshit!"
With a busy mind, negative thoughts are easy to accept and entertain, as if they offer value and are worthy of consideration.
From the perspective of a quiet mind, these negative interlopers are recognized, their energy suck detected, and they can be easily dismissed. No analysis is necessary. There is no need to understand where they come from, although you might. All that is needed is a flat-out dismissal. A hard no. A clear boundary that no awareness is going to be given to them.
This is not sweeping things under the rug. It is freedom. Illusions can't be swept under the rug. They aren't real. All that can be done is see them for the lies they are so they can be dissolved.
A quiet mind is your natural state. It might not be your normal state, but it is natural. There is no one way to support yourself in quieting your mind. There are infinite ways. All you need to do is find what works for you. Your wisdom will guide you. Listen to your common sense. Listen beyond the noise of the urgency of your anxious thoughts. Listen to the quiet wisdom of your knowing.
If there is one thing to be on the learning curve in life, it is to get better at listening to your deeper knowing. The intuitive guidance that is beyond the intellect.
This is my learning curve. I am doing my best to be aware of my state of mind and to make self-honoring choices that preserve a quiet mind.
This past year of health challenges has forced me to slow down, and the benefit has been that I have become quieter within myself. I'm unwilling to sacrifice my inner peace because of anxious thoughts about money and what I should be doing with my life. I've embraced the plain existence of ordinary life and found myself often experiencing profound gratitude for what is. I'm grateful for things I would have previously thought were unimportant or not that special. At this moment, I feel blessed by the rays of sunlight hitting my face as I write this. It is also not unusual to find myself experiencing heartwarming tears just looking at our dog Niko or feeling our cat Aurora purring on my chest.
This may sound simplistic, and given everything that is going on in the world, I might sound out of touch. But my heart calls me to go deeper into my experience of what is and rest in the quiet.
I am grateful for the gift of my health challenges that forced me to slow down externally and helped me to realize the importance of slowing down internally.
That is my invitation to you. Can you love yourself by letting yourself rest in the quiet of your inner being and be resourced by this space of truth? Can you allow your heart to open to yourself so that all unkind, judgmental thoughts are easily dismissed because they make no sense? Can you give yourself this gift of presence?
And if the busy mind says no, can you listen deeper? Can you dismiss the anxious thoughts that will sacrifice you on the cross of fear and instead listen to what is genuinely honoring and say no once and for all to being driven by the inner tyrant of petty insecurities?
Can you put yourself first and say yes to what is truly for your highest good? And the highest good of all.
Now is the time to be outrageous and courageously stand for what your heart yearns for. Say yes to your Self. Yes, to all of you. Yes, to what your heart longs for.
Now is the time to draw a line in the sand and say no to compromising your truth. No to being harried by your worries. No to the inner bully. No to all ideas of limits on love and your inner peace.
You are worthy! You are magnificent! You are powerful! You are the infinite intelligence of all things.
Remember what is true and act accordingly!
If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in a serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to listen.
Rohini Ross is co-founder of “The Rewilders.” Listen to her podcast, with her partner Angus Ross, Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. In the first season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini also co-facilitate private couple's intensive retreat programs that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is also the author of the ebook Marriage, and she and Angus are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilders Community. You can follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about her work and subscribe to her blog visit: TheRewilders.org.